• Cynthia Dagnal-Myron

I'm soooo over Thanksgiving...



Got hit with an allergic reaction recently that laid me low for a couple of weeks. And God love 'em, all my friends started fretting about where I was going to go for Thanksgiving for some reason.


To be fair, they always do. It's just that they felt, and rightly so, it was a particularly bad time for me to get so sick. Bless their hearts.


But truth be told, Thanksgiving as I spend it now is probably the best it has ever been.


I go nowhere. I invite no one. Not even "the" one. He's cool with that. Which is why he's "the" one.


I make what I want to make. I do what I want to do.


I am no longer rushing around the house trying to make sure everyone has what they need when they need it. No logistics, no fuss.


I watch other people rush around doing that on TV. All the cookie bakers, holiday decor makers--I love that shit. As long as I don't have to actually get up and do it myself.


I loved it when we got together as a big family and did the whole Hollywood movie thing--or tried to. There was a time for that, once. A phase I went through. Was expected to embrace.


As a Hopi wife up on the rez, I just dove into the fray with literally dozens of other Hopi wives, doing whatever I was asked to do. Several seatings throughout the day. Conveyor belt, buffet style affairs the entire village/family/clans attended.


The ladies ate last. Not being subservient so much as waiting for a chance to sit down and really savor the stuff they'd made, finally. After the rush. Spilling the "tea" together with all the men off watching football or whatever.


Secrets we'd picked up on during all those seatings. Glances. Grimaces. Glares...


Later when we moved to Tucson, it was partly about emulating my mother who, I have to admit, never really enjoyed having the family over at all. The work began weeks before; the logistics were absurd.


And there was a"thing" in the family for many years. A tug of war between the women to see which one would become the "main matriarch" for holiday events and crucial family gatherings. So the chore rotated from one to the other, and each one tried to outdo the other.


Strivers up from the South, they pinched pennies to buy crystal and silver and swanky plates from Marshall Fields and such no less--I totally "got it."


They'd set white people's tables, made their turkeys and served up"Southern delicacies" on the side for them for ages, a lot of those women. Making ends meet on the way to "middle class."


If anyone deserved to dive off the deep end with such unabashed, bougie glee, they definitely did. Or I thought so. And in part to honor them, I kept up the tradition in my own way.


I just didn't particularly care about it until my kid did. Thankfully, it was just the food she cared about, though. And having us all together, eating 'way too much of it.


No swanky stuff. She just wanted big bowls and platters of goodness in the kitchen that we could nibble from all day long.


It was my pleasure to make sure she had that. A simpler pleasure.


Now, it's simpler, still. It's all about moi.


Selfish, I know, but at this age...it's hard to shame me.


Christmas this year will be a very big deal. The last one before the birth of my first grandchild.


And then we're off to the races, right? The big bad "holy shit holiday" thing will probably start up again. My baby girl with her baby girl. Granny'll take a back seat.


Gladly.


This Thanksgiving, meanwhile, Granny's making a big old pot of white chili. Not sure what else. I'm kinda gonna let that...develop as I go. Be all offhand about it. Something my mother never got the chance to do.


Make dessert. Buy dessert. Or run down to the corner convenience store and grab a whole bunch of candy bars or something else awful and hunker down to watch some of my favorite holiday movies like I did when I was a teenager hiding away from the family in my room, trying to be all "PC" about "what Thanksgiving really means."


Sixties kid, so...you know.


I'm not rebelling now. I just wanted something home style. Southwestern flavors. Hot stuff. Dollop of sour cream or cheese on top.


Wine, maybe--oooo, I have a red one that goes good with chocolate. Maybe not Hershey bars. Godiva. C'mon, of that mom and the aunts would heartily approve. Bless their bougie hearts...


Chili, chocolate, red, red wine...and then I'll doze off.


Lots of ways to do Thanksgiving. Having a choice is my favorite.


What would YOU do, if you could just do you this Thanksgiving? Are you over it or into it, still? Comment--I'm curious!


Wherever you are and whatever you do, I hope there are some sweet surprises in store. And lots to be thankful for!

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#simplify #holidays #Thanksgiving #Christmas #family #seniorliving #women

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